Life...a constant struggle with entropy
heartablaze
Sacramento, California | Man Seeking A TS/TV/TG
Basic Information
I Can Speak
English
I Would Describe Myself As
A warm hug-able realist...loving, sarcastic at times, funny and loyal...with a unsurpassed admiration and devotion for the special person in my life...those who surround me see me as their rock...those who have just met me always want to know me more...I hope so will you.
...Fear is not knowing the unknown…that is what you are about…you are strong…you are resilient…you haven’t healed from your broken heart…but the injury is not as severely acute as it was…your on the mend…but the shyness…the hesitation from traveling down that path makes you worry about taking that first step……but you did…you did see and that’s how we found each other…I hope steps will come easier…eventually you will quicken the pace…not a run…I know you can’t handle that right now…but soon a confident walk…the emotional scar is not something you can forget…but it’s in your control to escape its grasp…I will be there to journey with you…there is a beautiful horizon…a peaceful beacon to light our way…the warmth is there……and when you’re ready…when you pass through that last barrier …my arms will be there…wrapping you in a soft gentle kiss of our bodies…a light touch to your face…a memory of where we started…the void is filled and you can’t remember how you got there…but you are…
...what I’m looking for now…love the way I know it should be……i listen to my heart…my heart tells me we are both looking for the something……I want the feel…the touch of Love, its laughter and its dream…everyone does… but today I’m selfish…today it’s for me…why can’t I see it comes from within…i do not know……you know exactly how Love is……that’s evident in your expression….the way to give it characteristics…the warmth of it…is it an Illusion…the joy runs all through your body……and every thought when you’re in Love stems from that feeling…its musical and magical……the word Love moves you……I know exactly what the feeling is……but without…yes without……without that right person to share it…all that’s left is emptiness……put your hand on your chest….that’s where Love should be…that is where we want and long for it to reside………we need love to fill that void……complete love……that warmth and joy and passion roots its self there and once it does it spreads through the body like the sun breaking a new dawn on an otherwise cold and dark world…………you know…your aware that the right love can make you forget your surroundings……that is when you know it is real………there is a quite soft calm……and only when together fades for a moment…i truly miss……I know you miss that to…………you can take a moment and think back to that first time you felt it……a feeling you never wanted to end……but it has……I miss it……I miss it to…………
Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of men.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living.
"Bertrand Russell"
...The river flows, and the dam stops it
The wind blows, yet the trees control it
The sun shines, but the clouds hide it
Love grows, yet separation kills it
What is "It", that which we need to keep the things we want coming...
Try as we may, we lose and win only to lose again....
"It" is a never ending cycle....Life could not exist without pains of the heart...absences of the mind...
The things we hold closest to our souls seem
...Fear is not knowing the unknown…that is what you are about…you are strong…you are resilient…you haven’t healed from your broken heart…but the injury is not as severely acute as it was…your on the mend…but the shyness…the hesitation from traveling down that path makes you worry about taking that first step……but you did…you did see and that’s how we found each other…I hope steps will come easier…eventually you will quicken the pace…not a run…I know you can’t handle that right now…but soon a confident walk…the emotional scar is not something you can forget…but it’s in your control to escape its grasp…I will be there to journey with you…there is a beautiful horizon…a peaceful beacon to light our way…the warmth is there……and when you’re ready…when you pass through that last barrier …my arms will be there…wrapping you in a soft gentle kiss of our bodies…a light touch to your face…a memory of where we started…the void is filled and you can’t remember how you got there…but you are…
...what I’m looking for now…love the way I know it should be……i listen to my heart…my heart tells me we are both looking for the something……I want the feel…the touch of Love, its laughter and its dream…everyone does… but today I’m selfish…today it’s for me…why can’t I see it comes from within…i do not know……you know exactly how Love is……that’s evident in your expression….the way to give it characteristics…the warmth of it…is it an Illusion…the joy runs all through your body……and every thought when you’re in Love stems from that feeling…its musical and magical……the word Love moves you……I know exactly what the feeling is……but without…yes without……without that right person to share it…all that’s left is emptiness……put your hand on your chest….that’s where Love should be…that is where we want and long for it to reside………we need love to fill that void……complete love……that warmth and joy and passion roots its self there and once it does it spreads through the body like the sun breaking a new dawn on an otherwise cold and dark world…………you know…your aware that the right love can make you forget your surroundings……that is when you know it is real………there is a quite soft calm……and only when together fades for a moment…i truly miss……I know you miss that to…………you can take a moment and think back to that first time you felt it……a feeling you never wanted to end……but it has……I miss it……I miss it to…………
Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of men.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living.
"Bertrand Russell"
...The river flows, and the dam stops it
The wind blows, yet the trees control it
The sun shines, but the clouds hide it
Love grows, yet separation kills it
What is "It", that which we need to keep the things we want coming...
Try as we may, we lose and win only to lose again....
"It" is a never ending cycle....Life could not exist without pains of the heart...absences of the mind...
The things we hold closest to our souls seem
Sign
Sagittarius
Appearance & Situation
My Body Type Is
Heavyset
My Height Is
5' 10 (1.78 m)
My Eyes Are
Blue
My Ethnicity Is
Caucasian
My Marital Situation Is
Single
I Have Kids
Yes - Not At Home
I Want Kids
No
My Best Feature Is
Smile
Body Art
Wouldn't Even Think About It
My Hair Is
Blonde
I Have One Or More Of These
No pets
Willing To Relocate
No
Status
My Education Level Is
College Degree
My Current Employment Status Is
Student
My Speciality Is
Medical / Health
My Job Title Is
Nursing Student
I Make This Much In A Year
$15,000USD To $29,999USD
I Live
Alone
At Home
Friends Come Over Occasionally
I'm A Smoker
Yes - Socially
I Drink
Yes - Socially
Personality
Back In High School, I Was A
Class Clown
My Social Behavior Is
Boisterous, Loud, Observant, Friendly, Comedic, Party Starter, Flirtatious, Outgoing
My Interest And Hobbies Are
Sports, Learning, Music, Movies, Clubbing / Bar Hopping, Dancing, Dining, Theater, Travel, Cooking, Gardening, Camping
My Idea Of A Great Time Is
Hanging Out With Friends, The Movies, Relaxing, Clubbing / Bars, Going To A Concert, Going To A Museum
An Ideal First Date Would Be
Ask Me...send me a message.
I've Always Wanted To Try
I still plan to hike up MT. Diablo, and haven't quite needed to make a bucket list yet...lol
My Friends Describe Me As Being
Friendly, Troublemaker, Cool, Goofy, A Flirt
Views
My Religion Is
Spiritual But Not Religious
I Attend Services
Once A Year
My Political Views Are
Middle Of The Road
My Goal In Life Is
To be the best wound specialist nurse on the West Coast. I have two more semesters towards applying for the BSN course...I plan to do a year here in the Sacramento area and two years on the East Coast (Boston Med Area)...upon returning to California I will to apply to USF for their Doctorate program and become a Nurse Practitioner...eventually I would like to settle in the Folsom area.
My Kind Of Humor Is
Clever, Dry / Sarcastic, Friendly, Goofy
Taste
On Tv, I Always Watch
News, Documentaries, Situation Comedies, Movies, Sports
When I Go To The Movies, I Always Go To See A
Action, Science Fiction, Comedy, Horror
When Listening To Music, I Always Listen To
Country, Rap, Rock, Metal, Electronic, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Latin, New age, Ambient, Dance, Soul, Reggae, Punk
When I Read, I Always Read
News, Business, Fiction, Health, History, Home & Garden, Humor, Science Fiction, Sports
My Idea Of Fun Is
Hmmmmm...guess that depends on who I'm with...being a Sagittarius I'm very spontaneous...which can be better tolerated by those who are Aquarius, Aries, Leo and Libra...for others its not the end...I like to travel to the wine country...nice drives...great company...love the "City"....Tahoe is great and so is Monterey...but sometimes a sunny walk downtown hand in hand can be just as nice...coupled with a quiet snack and blanket time under a tree in the park...day trip to the museum...sharing popcorn at the movies (maybe stealing a kiss or two or three)....an escape to a hotel with a night of dinner, dancing and loving (not having to worry about getting interrupted our making the bed cleaning up LOL), a great morning breakfast and then kisses till we see each other again....day at the beach searching for shells feet in the waves, fresh seafood and cuddling......long quite gazes into each others eyes...My Ideas of fun are not too different than others who are interested in a LTR.....
Looking for
What Do You Find Attractive?
Intelligence, Good Looks, Humor, Empathy, Sensitivity, Spontaneity, Wit, Thoughtfullness, Passiveness
What Do You Look For?
"Life"...a constant struggle with entropy...funny how we express the
description of ourselves as that which we want to be /or what we think
we seek...yet what we fail to understand is, what we desire has always
been guiding us along the sea of sometimes turmoil/sometimes bliss
in our lives...it is not the perfect life that thrust's us forward but
the desire to achieve a level in comparison to that which we
seek...I'm not interested in the rich and beautiful...I'm not
interested in that type of underlying heart ache....what I desire is
soft compassion...a mutual enjoyment in the life we live...no judgment
on how short/tall/small/large/color or financial position one
holds...my desire is to love and be loved...no matter if its a night
on the town...or cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and a
movie....point being...comfort is mutual in all aspects of daily life
and as long as it agrees with each others aspirations... then isn't
what we are all looking for....
I
description of ourselves as that which we want to be /or what we think
we seek...yet what we fail to understand is, what we desire has always
been guiding us along the sea of sometimes turmoil/sometimes bliss
in our lives...it is not the perfect life that thrust's us forward but
the desire to achieve a level in comparison to that which we
seek...I'm not interested in the rich and beautiful...I'm not
interested in that type of underlying heart ache....what I desire is
soft compassion...a mutual enjoyment in the life we live...no judgment
on how short/tall/small/large/color or financial position one
holds...my desire is to love and be loved...no matter if its a night
on the town...or cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and a
movie....point being...comfort is mutual in all aspects of daily life
and as long as it agrees with each others aspirations... then isn't
what we are all looking for....
I
What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?
Doesnt Matter, Friend, Other